Foot in mouth

Where is
my singer's saving grace
as i breathe out
the worst of me
to save the best of him.

I long for
some clarity
in voice
in light:
in his eyes.

My heart knows the truth:
he will never feel like this
it will never be what i want
i will never be the same.
but-

I cannot go back.

Lucky

I am trying
to recover a feeling;
a feeling that should be here
but is hiding
in broken china.

I am trying
to make sense of a heart
drenched with impossible longings;
taken with force,
dripping a mess onto my shoes.

I am trying
to bring back
a girl from a time long ago-
a girl
that no longer can be.

I am Alice,
I am fumbling,
safe in an uncertain world.

Blanketed

Uncover me.
I'm waiting here, beneath the sheets
for you to
uncover me.

I picture you beside my bed
then in my bed
(just in my head)
with nervous touch
meeting gorgeous smile
with gentle hands
and hungry kisses.

Yet tears prick
my open eyes:
I will never see you again.

I don't want sleep.
I want you.
Your hands on my body,
your tongue in my mouth.

911: A distant sun

I am curious to know
how I look right now:
hair falling
to the time of the fan blowing by.
Are my eyes puffy from tenderness?
from the letter or sounds from home?
does my face read
the worry
of a thousand warships
trembling and clasping at each other;
preparing for the worst
on this day of all days.

And downstairs
Amy clutches her cup of tea
as CNN rolls on and on and on.

Love and war collide
on my bed
in my head
in the air.