SAVED FROM MYSELF - JEWEL

How often i've cried out
in silent tongue
to be saved
from myself

in the middle of the night
too afraid
to move

horrified the answer
may be beyond the
capability of my
own two hands

so small

SO JUST KISS ME - JEWEL

So just kiss me and let my hair
messy itself in your fingers

tell me nothing needs to be done-
no clocks need winding

There is no bell without a voice
needing to borrow my own

instead, let me steady myself
in the arms
of a man who won't ask me to be
what he needs, but lets me exist

as i am

wrapped up
in a tiny body

I GUESS WHAT I WANTED WAS - JEWEL

i guess what i
wanted was
to hear

you'd stay with me always

i guess what i
wanted was
to see

those hands vowing
never to leave my own

i guess what
i wanted was
to know

i am not loving
in vain.

CONFESSION - CHARLES BUKOWSKI

Waiting for death
like a cat
that will jump on the
bed

i am so very sorry for
my wife

she will see this
stiff
white
body
shake it once, then
maybe again

"Hank!"

Hank won't
answer

it's not my death that
worries me, it's my wife
left with this
pile of nothing.

i want to
let her know,
though,
that all the nights
sleeping
beside her

even the useless
arguments
were things
ever splendid.

and the hard
words
i ever feared to
say
can now be
said:

i love
you.

we talk * slowly * about nothing * about movies * we stick to * surface streets * and find no meaning in cafe windows * no substance in * hotel rooms * i used to unwrap you! * tender layers unfolding * like eager gold * but now * we are cool and recount * our daily bores * as though * the sum of our uses *
equaled * someting * (more) * substantial * while softer * things shrivel * and dry roots * go unfed * strangled * by the phone line * and all *
that is *
not said.

-Jewel.