-Cut-

It is done
and not a breath leaves
the barren body.

Gathering, enveloping
herself
in all her brokenness
she stumbles, searches
for how to kill the threatening dragon

she wants to rest her mind
she wants to heal her body

she pushes her hand
into an invisible body of air
as if to release
all her thoughts and emotions
so her mind can be free

she can't use the words
she can't tell of her dissensions
she needs a way
to prepare for her
ominous
end.

-ABridged-

All your
analogies
of the thoughts
you read
are
all
very wrong.

-Demons-

Settling for 2nd best
thrown to the floor
big dreams only meant for some
not some forgotten whore

chances taken in darkness
her choices built her prison
though if given the time again
there'd be a much different decision

and though you think
this lost girl
is someone to be condemned
for carelessness
lies
and debauchery which is making her end

she is a part of you
and lives in you
and is not to be discarded
and not unlike
those forgotten few
the ones that they have martyred.

-The Green Room-

Pound, pound, pound.
conversations in circles
squeaking sneakers
my head is aching
from all the metal
this leather restrains me.
pound, pound, pound.
silent page-turning
clicking heels
but there's no way home.
pound, pound pound.
i've been given too much free time,
too much time to waste thinking
of all the lies that betrayed you.

-No order-

Sometimes i think
if i push hard enough
it'll rip
i'll bleed
and i'll taste all my brokenness

angst gives way to loss
the punishment
fearing contact with the air
over-exposure is not the key
sing songs of solitude in my head.

aren't you impressed with the sky tonight?
see the purple clouds
tumble
maybe it'll rain happiness

i stand
amongst your cool complexity
and hope i don't drown in your beauty
with my back to the ice,
i am nothing to the beautiful stranger
yet loved by the one
whose feelings seem padlocked deep inside.

am i gambling away my heart?
God please don't let me hurt him
i am swimming in your wake
this confusion you send me
through sugar-coated vibes
even cindi lauper understands me better
than i ever will.

-Victim - Part 1-

It's hard touching a rose
when you only feel the thorns
it's like loving the devil
'cause you refuse to see his horns
and the man you thought
was your gravity
sinks beneath the waves

it's hard writing a story
when the end is bittersweet
it's like chasing a dream
then admitting defeat
and the light that used to shine
bright in your heart
dims to feed the hunger

No matter what you do
no matter what you say
i'm no longer your victim;
a dream you can betray
as long as the night
and as cruel as this fear
those words
i will not hear.

- Block -

I wonder what it is that i did
to inspired a lifelong stream
of criticism from you.
I'm spilling out words i know you want to hear
yet still
this deep dis-satisfaction troubles me.

-Closing the door-

Let me cry
it's such a beautiful release
i am leaving this prison
after years of waiting and hoping to be free.

Nearly 5 Januarys; then i will be nearly able to put it away.

But
your face has been firmly and harshly
slashed
and etched
into my inner eyelids
and the way you scarred me
i will never
ever
forget.