-SO BLESSED-

What did I do to deserve this?
I feel so blessed; so needed
"who wouldnt be the one you love?"

One step closer now.
So your face is next to mine.
I hear you breathe gently.
"a pure soul.. and beautiful.. you"

I wrap my arms around your neck.
I have you near.

Soon.

-DON'T GO-

Don't slip out of my grasp.
Don't let me lose you.
do you have any clue what that would do to me?

I'm losing you with my own ways.
Because every moment i compare myself to you
and every time i realise how i'll never be like you.

i like the way i already am.
i like how i'm not perfect.

yet still when i'm around you
i feel so guilty
for anything i say or do
that doesn't seem 'just right'
or what you'd do in my situation.

I just seem to fuck it up everytime.
And yet because my want for your love and approval to remain
is so great
i can't help but try to change.

though it is weird to be so good.

-MIRROR-

I know that's me in the looking glass
but i've looked at this face so long now
that it's now just a shape.
And i'm just some arms, just some legs, just some fuzzy figure.

Yet if i look closer..
i see what i'm feeling
and i see how i have little orange sparks in my eyes.

I need sleep.
I'm too young for these dark rings.

I think i should go do something else.
Or i'll find too many faults.

-SATURDAY NIGHT-

Another night.
I step back; close my eyes.
Things may have changed
but the sound of the rain seems the same.
I'm cold and i can't
see through my hair
to the street
but i
hear the cars
smell the smoke
and feel the ground steady beneath my feet.
For a second, anyway.

I can feel the cold water going down my collar now
and all the hairs on my arms tingle.
I shiver.
I fall back.
The grass is colder than the air.
I should go home now.

Before i get sick again.

-LISTEN HARDER-

What are you listening out for?
What i say
what i should say for you
or what i'm keeping inside?

I feel like i've lost my voice
when the world just doesn't feel quite right
and the side of me i've discovered
isn't one i know quite how to deal with yet.

Either way my thoughts aren't making sense.

But don't get concerned.
Words are too easily confused.
It's not like i'd slit my wrists.

No energy. ;)

-ICE ENCOUNTER-

i don't retaliate

i just walk away
with all the coldness
you accuse me of

the 'icemaiden' won't take any more of this bullshit.
she'll just go now.
before you fuck me up royally.