-Refusal-

I refuse to accept
that so coldly
blankly
and certainly
you can announce
that you will not go with me.

And i refuse to acknowledge
that i will honestly
quietly
and easily
let you walk away from me.

"What is it in me that refuses to believe
this isn't easier than the real thing.."

How is it
that stubbornly
you are staying here,
letting me leave,
and throwing this all away?

-A Story-

Let me describe a girl
the girl who once loved a little girl
a little girl that once had an angel.

Time can be so cruel
yet so can the aching head and heart
when fatigue settles in around your brain.

The girl was always there
her beautiful hands holding the little girl's
to pull her through the cold, wet night; through the suffering

The girl never faltered
to help her find her way again.

The girl chose to love the little girl; she chose not to reject that love
she let her tears fall onto the little one's shoulder
she let her pain enter her heart.

The girl trusted the little one's faith in life
she trusted the little one's faith in her
and she let the little girl guide her
through her ups and downs
losses and gains.

Her soft arms held the small girl close
whenever tears fell down her cheeks
her sweet voice let her know that her love would never die.

But one day it had to.
She told the little girl
that things would have to end.

The little girl let all the knowledge
that the girl had given her
fill her up
and she swelled with pride; she was so proud to have known
and be loved
by the girl.

They said their goodbyes.

Then the little girl
sat down
and wrote a poem
about her lost love
and felt complete
and gifted.

She held her head up high
and looked up above into the clouds
as the rain fell upon her.
And instead of letting it wet her hopes; drown her happiness

she let it wash away all her pain.

-Questions-

Why can't i live
within you.

Take my faith
take my love
take my pain
dammit, take everything from me and let me be nothing.

Why should i try to be anything
if i am not one of two.

Love is so cruel
just when you feel it fully
you realise its end is near.

I hate this
i hate this
i HATE this!
I hate myself for letting it get me down.

I know i have to leave
i know you hate talking about it
but it's my way of coping.

Why won't you let these words
leave me?

Why won't you let me push this problem
with its pain
out onto the talking sea?

Don't let me cry
don't let these tears fall
oh just make it stop
make it stop

MAKE IT STOP.

Why
can't
i
live
within
you.