-Failed-

I'm sorry.
I cannot be this,
do this
any longer. I'm sorry, little girl.
i could not help you
I could not keep you safe.

I pulled you close
held you in my arms
but too late.
it was all too late.

I'm sorry.
I cannot say this,
feel this
any longer.
I'm sorry, little girl.
I failed you.
I could not keep you

i could not keep you safe.

Orbital Flee

I sink
into pale, crisp sheets
staring at the ceiling
as you orbit
orbit
you are orbiting
around my head
your face
your voice
with its soft,
calming words
reach
in
with curious hands
to my heart.

I slip
under dark, comforting covers
and i close my eyes so tight
and under my breath
the words i utter
as i will you here.

If only my will was that strong.

It is so cold here
but i only feel this
full
warmth
under my ribs
and in my belly.
I've got you
so deep
under my skin
that warmth
that glow

God i love you.

Sink

I meant you no harm.
Swimming in your own little lagoon
surrounded by trees of green
placid
peaceful
as always
like a doll.

People saw past the lie, you know
people still see through you.

I'm glad i'm one of them.

Lauft fuer euer Leben

Please!
Somebody!
See through this mask
see through my forced lie.

I'm dying here
sick of trying to cope
sick of trying to be understood.

Someone.
listen to my call
I'm so alone here
yet surrounded by them.

What
me
do
you
see?

Stay another..

Ambivalence
is still here
in its old place
getting comfy.

this feeling won't go away
maybe if
i was really trying
to rid myself of it..

i enjoy you. so much.

Look at the mess you leave me in.

Don't leave.
It's really hard here
without you.
Lie behind me
enclose me in your warmth
and let us sleep
our worries
away.

Moved

Blonde elf
upon the bed
fuelling, filling
the warmth beneath my breast
hair falls, softly caressing
his bare stomach
my head lies
upon his chest
i feel him: right through
to his beating heart..
is it in time with mine?

there's something in this air
a divine electricity
a moment set on fire
captured like jewels
in my hand

did you know it would be this sublime?
i never imagined
that lying staring into eyes
love-filled crystal blue windows
would move me
this much.

a room swarming, swelling with people
escaping the ice-bitten air
i only see you
eyes hidden behind soft curls
head high, big smile
why am i so lucky that
this
ray of light
is my best friend?

I cherish you.
I adore you.
I enjoy you.
I need you.
I want you.
I love you.

In your arms
i find peace.

Enchated

Lying here
staring at your face
its pale eyes closed,
its mouth
breathing out
breathing in
in a perfect
serene
rhythm.

this is the first
and possibly the last
time
i get to watch you sleep.

the unknown of tomorrow
collides
with the knowledge of today
this deep
deep
warmth
inside my belly
this tear
upon my cheek
and these rapid,
syncopated breaths
tell me
all i need to know.

Is this it?
are you my missing piece?

every part of me
every word i say
thought i think
beat of my heart
knows the answer.

I cannot live
without
this.