-Final end-

You want to know things
ease your pain, figure out the errors
so you ask, inquire
and i tell
yet your reply doesn't make sense.
i don't know if you're putting on this act
or telling the truth
when you say that you're happier now

you said goodbye.

wasn't exactly what i expected.

-In my shoes-

If you can't be best
if you can't be better than her
why try
push it all away
and live in your own world
cause in this world
you can still live in sunlight

now you know what it's like
to be 2nd best
now you know how it feels
to be left in the dark
now you know what it's like
to force a brave face
because you have been in my situation
you have lived a day in my shoes.

Now you can be strong.

-Survival-

I saved many spiders today.
squirming in the water
grasping at leaves for a chance
to stay alive
in our heavily-chlorinated pool.

one baby spider
failed to quite get there
my hands, cupped
lifted him up
to the side, where he was safe.
then he bit me.

angry, i ran my hand through the water
it didn't hurt, it wasn't much
but i was trying to help him, and he hurt me.

then it hit me.
we're all the same.

-Lost-

I plunge into the cool intensity
that is water
and i start to swim
against the current, not with it
it gets deeper
i push harder, struggling
against the force of so much power
my legs give up, they ache for land
i swallow the water, my arms giving in
as i drift, sinking
surrendering
you are running along the bank
you dive
i am pulled
like fresh fish
from the water
my pulse is there
my skin is cold, breath flows
but i am dead inside.

-Blue haiku-

Gargamel was mean.
Azrael was just a cat
That liked to eat smurfs.

-Stop!-

Tell the sun to stop shining with its smug heat
tell the stars not to sparkle; they don't have to try
tell the tides not to rise and fall

tell the birds to stop singing their sweet song
tell the dogs not to bark
tell the world to forget it all.

Let time stop for me
so i can run without being seen
let the rivers freeze
so i can cross them quick; run away
let it all crumble down on its knees
cause i don't want the hurt anymore.

"Damn you for being all i ever wanted."

-Frazzled-

I don't know
what would be harder:
loving
you
or
losing
you.

I'm taking this to the grave.

-Just one wish-

I breathe in harshly
as i struggle to pull myself
from the depths that have surrounded me.
gasping for life
longing to walk the streets
as me
with just your presence.
i don't pray that often,
but the words strike me now
as i ask the higher power
to forgive you
to forgive me
and to not let me lose control.

-Long fear-

Dark silence should be solace
yet fear is cold and unrelenting
it sucks me in
only to spit me out
just as i feel like it's all over.

-Lust for me-

I wish you'd want me today
just so i could smile to myself,
think, "wow, he wants me"
before pushing -you- away.
How shallow of me.

-Liquid girl-

Suck it.
Suck it all up.
I don't want this pool of dignity
on my floor as your evidence anymore.

-Can't i be-

Impracticality
and spontaneity
serve nothing other
than my lust for freedom
and my thirst
to be my own person
with no questions asked.

-Lord-

Sometimes
i feel like screaming:
"God! Yes, you, up there ruling everything.
Fuck you're a wanker sometimes."
But i never do.
(I guess i'm too scared of lightning striking).
Golly gosh, such blasphemy.
"Sorry. Love you. Thanks and all that,
but you did a crappy job on me."