-Giving way Pt. 2-

Risk (God, this one is big)
broken (i am so sick of crying)
goddess (even you can't help me)
in the backseat of a civic (not exactly where i wanna be)
through the lense (everything examined)
black (where has my light gone?)
target (i am chasing you)
giving way for him to let go (won't you let me go?)
christmas (the end seems so far)
heat (under our collars)
lust (i cannot release it)
selective guests for viewing (my inner sorrow)
jaded ("do you know my spark is?")
discarded (like old, worn socks)
confused (about everything)
lost in the darkness of thought. (join me)

-Love scars-

"Adieu":
means final farewell
for this farewell
will be final.

"Au revoir":
means i will see you again
but i don't think
this applies.

"A bientot":
means see you soon
but i won't.

and even though
it'll break my heart
to not see you
and the ones we share love for
i have to do
what's right
for me.

-Program me-

Though it's there
everyday for me
it's only programmed;
simulated love.

How i desire
to make it real
but not hurt her
i must remain unhappy.

How i long to be with you.

-Let you go-

I let you go
i said goodbye
let all your hurt
escape me
my hair like tendrils
slipping through fingers
messied in sweat
bruised feet
beat unearthed
heart awakened.

I am free.
I am no longer afraid.
I can be
the
girl
i feel inside.

Weightless

It's over, now.
Such complexity.
It took 30 seconds
to finish
9 months of unity.

Scary thought.

Now
i am weightless
not worried about:
keeping him happy
keeping my feelings inside
giving in to pain.

Now i can heal.

But hey
don't take it all away
this girl needs it
a memory as bittersweet
as lemon juice running down my chin.

being without you
being weightless
is truly
an experience.

Jammed Summer

Crushing bodies
collapsing into arms
dreamily swaying
to stop the tears
friendships strengthened
friendships weakened
while bruised feet
dance in time.

Head upwards, gasping
heart doubled, rushing
bad memories, flashing
salty tears, falling
legs and arms, dripping
with independence.

K-A-T

I forgive you
all your sorrows
your transgressions
i don't mind
your faults
i've seen it in you
in your eyes
that ambition
unfailing faith
in this pre-decided fairytale destiny.

dreamer girl
keep spinning that golden web
all your dreams will be reality
if you believe in yourself enough.

You
will
touch
the
stars.

Little man

What is your price
for this heart?
50 dollars? 100?
what is your price
for my friendship; my place in your life?
gold? silver?
or am i just something that's easy to throw away
for free.

Freedom to
or freedom from?
where to begin
on this different path
i expected you
of all people
to be adult about this.

instead,
you price our love in gold
while the friendship that could have been
something
is snatched away in front of my eyes.

Go ahead, little man.
Your world is obviously more interesting for you.
Live outside the square you live in
and you might experience
real love
where it doesn't just revolve
around -you-.

Made safe

Silence
as thick and heavy
as wet clothes on your back
you're crawling out of the water
that has been drowning you.

dragging your stomach through the mud
dirt caked beneath fingernails
you're sliding out of the deep
that has been choking you, holding you down.

up onto hands and knees, now
slipping, tripping onto feet
stumbling, staggering through weeds, reeds
flesh torn by passing thorns
hair muddy and messied
eyes blurry with water
running

sunlight flashes
reaching out through tree spaces
feet cut, hands torn
running
you fall
form blurred in movement
onto hard, yet soft grass
to lie on your back
breathing, panting
staring up at the tree-clear sky
now in the sun again.

Now we can heal.